This is the first image that showed up when I googled 'manifesto'. I think it's from a movie called 'Manifesto'. I haven't seen it and don't intend to.
THEATRE IS DEADLY AND THEREFORE DESERVES TO DIE. THE NERDS HAVE HAD IT TOO GOOD FOR TOO LONG. ZERO EFFORT, ZERO BUDGET, ZERO THEATRE BY 2030. FROM OUR LIPS TO SATAN'S EARS.
WE, THE DEMIURGES OF ZERO'S COUNCIL HEREBY ESCHEW THE USE AND EMPLOYMENT OF THE FOLLOWING THEATRICAL FORMS AND STRUCTURES, AND DECLARE SUCH FORMS AND STRUCTURES ENTIRELY FOR NERDS. WE THEREFORE DEIGN TO NEVER USE ANY OF THESE FORMS AND CONVENTIONS:
Puppetry - especially of the penis or vagina.
Mask work - especially any mask work involving comedy.
Movement - this betrays our intention to refuse to employ effort.
Speech/”voice work” - including any and all warm-ups and cool-downs.
Whimsy - on any scale, ironic or unintended.
Magical realism - neither magic, nor realism.
Comedy - the intention to be “funny” belies the ability to be “funny” which is at its core fundamentally unintentional.
Tragedy/Irony/”ACTING” - any and all forms of “ACTING” are rejected.
FURTHERMORE, THE FOLLOWING IS AN INEXHAUSTIVE LIST OF THE THINGS THAT ARE FOR NERDS:
Being boring is for nerds.
Professionalism is for nerds.
Having a scene is cool. Having an industry is for nerds.
Expensive tickets are for nerds.
Every show we make should make a theatre first-timer want to come back to the theatre, or else it's for nerds.
Working unsustainably is for nerds.
Grant applications are homework competitions, and you know who loves homework? That's right. Nerds.
Mediocrity is for nerds.
Middlebrow is for nerds.
Eating your vegetables is for nerds.
Brand building is for nerds.
Careerism is for nerds.
Community and solidarity are what will save theatre. Looking for leadership or help from the top is for nerds.
Manifestos are for nerds.
Rules are for nerds.
Doing accents in your show is for nerds.
Unpacking your trauma is for nerds.
Spontaneous joyful dancing in the third act is for nerds.
The Fringe is for nerds unless we put a show on.
If we put on a fucking Fringe show we deserve to be called nerds.
Research is for nerds but do your fucking research, nerds.
